Super Mario Bros reboot

Hunter S. Thompson vs. Conan O'Brien

link

Connan vs. Charlie Day

link

Cubs Vs. Cards: This time it counts

Quote from Ryan "The Riot" Theriot.

"I'm finally on the right side of the Cubs-Cardinals rivalry"

It is so on.

http://cubsrumorsandnews.blogspot.com

RIP Ronnie

Sad day for all.

Joe Bonamassa

As far as the blues is concerned, Joe Bonamassa may be the antichrist.



I think this is a travesty.

What to do if...

What do you do if you and a lady friend are enjoying some of your everyday bourbon and the mood gets intimate enough that you inquire about the prospects of a hand-jibber, but said lady friend doesn't understand what you mean? Since you can't blatantly ask for a hand job, you may be left wondering what to do? Quickly follow up by saying to her that you want a "handy-j" which is another slang term for hand job that is a little more crude than hand-jibber, but not as vulgar as the word hand job. No one is saying this yet, but I offer it in hopes that it may be useful to a fellow bro who is in such a situation.

Digital Media

I am past ready to not own stupid dumb annoying discs of any kind, everything should be downloaded from clouds.

I am ready for whipper-snappers to laugh at how stupid and antiquated having to drive to a video rental store, wait for the slow mailman to drop of my netflick, or buying special (or making in some of our cases) furniture to house digital media.

But my analog records sound so much better, I love scratchy noises and skips cause I am a homod.

Umpire Uniforms

Can we start a petition or something advancing the cause of radically different uniforms between leagues?

Nomar Yankees

I think we would have to reevaluate our lives if this happened.

http://blogbeckett.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/jetercardcubs.jpg

Thank God

The cards needed some middle infield help.

This will be the best since Royce Clayton.

Update: Orally Gifted

I passed my oral exam this morning. I should have my master's degree in January.

Oral Comprehende

I have my oral comprehensive exam tomorrow morning at 9am MST (10am Central). This is the follow up to my written comprehensive exam. It is me and four professors in a room for up to three hours tomorrow. I hope I make it out alive. If I pass, I get a master's degree.

Mega Gigabytes son!!

In case you guys haven't seen this yet.

Baseball: How to fix the game from the persepctive of a Randy Philosopher King

This blog is the only place on the internet where sane minded people have come together to discuss how we can fix the game of baseball. I am sad to say that there aren't many people who share our viewpoints on the subject. It has come to my attention that the MLB is going to try to expand the playoffs thus further diminishing the value of the regular season. Baseball currently has at most 17 playoff games a team can play versus a 162 game season (12% of regular season), NFL has 4 against 16 (25%), and the NBA has 21 games against 82 (26%). The playoffs in the MLB just do not truly represent the real journey that is the regular season and expanding them will only take away from that journey. Here is what I currently want to do to fix the game (much of this has been discussed by myself and Jeremy before and a lot of credit goes to his trailblazing attitude towards the sport).


This plan can be rolled out in tiers. Here is tier 1 and includes the first order corrections.

1. Fire Bud Selig. He supports the expansion of the playoffs. He acted too slowly on the steroid issue. He makes more than 10 million dollars a year. 
2. Even up the leagues by moving one NL team to the AL. This is obvious. I would suggest moving the Milwaukee Brewers to the AL Central and The Kansas City Royals to the AL West because the Brewers are a historically AL team. 
3. No more "Blackouts". Do not alienate the fan base by not allowing them to watch their favorite teams when they want to. 

Tier 2. Second order corrections. These have been discussed previously.

1. No more "it counts" with the All-Star game. Make the home field advantage in the World Series go back to alternating between the AL and NL in alternating years. 
2. Get rid of all Interleague play. Interleague is unfair and it simultaneously draws away from the AL/NL separation that I think is actually something of an interesting dynamic. Why have the AL or the NL if they play each other all the time? The AL and NL should only meet in the All-Star game and during the World Series.

Tier 3. These require some balls.

1. Get rid of divisions. If there are no divisions, then there are no stupid divisional races to mess up the chase for the pennant. Instead of teams running away with the division in July, the pennant races will certainly go the distance. 
2. Get rid of the playoffs all together. There never used to be playoffs and the winners of the pennants would meet each other in the World Series. By eliminating the playoffs, the regular season regains its value.
3. Shorten the season. The season is too long. If we do get rid of divisions, we would need the leagues to be evenly divided. In a 15 team league, each team could play the other 14 teams 11 times each (three 3 game series and one 2 game series) for a total of 154 games. If 162 games were necessary, then the other 8 could be used for rotating series or something.

Tier 4. These are more "out there" ideas.

1. Do not allow trades between leagues during the season. Again, the only way the postseason will matter again is if we have a much clearer divide between the leagues. 
2. Have radically different umpire uniforms in each league. This will help to subtly differentiate between the leagues. 

Basically, my thoughts are that we need to fix the little things and then we can move onto the bigger issues. I do feel that there is no longer a difference between the AL and the NL and the postseasons suffers for it (along with being very underwhelming), but due to the rich history and rivalries in each league we can save the game by separating the two leagues so that way the World Series is truly a big deal when the AL and NL champions come together. For example, if the Yankees meet the Cubs in the World Series it would be a huge deal, but the excitement would be muted if they had played each other in interleague play that year or in recent years.


For your health/ love of the game

FFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

Let me start off by saying that I AM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT.

I decided to reinstall the Bugless Beast ROM on my phone Monday morning because i didn't delete everything from the phone and SD card last time. Anyway, so i was playing with my phone before the concert last night and noticed that the home "button" and the camera button weren't working. The camera still worked, but i had to click on the camera "app." I thought, "Oh well, i'll just reinstall it again tomorrow." So i went to the concert and took quite a few pictures because i will probably never see The Aquabats again. Skip to this morning, i reinstall Bugless Beast, deleting everything on my phone and SD card again. Fast forward to now, i go to upload my pictures to my computer, here, and Facebook. Pictures are gone. I am currently trying to recover the pictures off my SD card. Update coming soon.

UPDATE: Pictures are all gone. Although all the other pictures i've ever taken on my phone were recovered. Weird.

HP Envy

I purchased an HP envy 14. I got a great deal on it, but after just three days with it I am returning it because the lcd panel is not up to my standards. It just didn't look good.

For you health

Super Rad

Didn't get Amy Sedaris to sign the DVD. Class got out too late for me to get there and actually get in before it would've started. BUT, i am going to see The Aquabats and Reel Big Fish tonight. SCORE!

Dongles for the win

http://www.tomsguide.com/us/STD-Mobile-Phone-London-University-Home-Test-pee,news-8729.html

Everything can be done with smart phones. We need to embrace the dongle.

This is so fucking stupid

Why would anyone spend 160G's on this shit?

I pledge my hate to whoever buys it.

Think she'll sign it?

I wonder if she'll sign my copy of Strangers With Candy: The Complete Series...

Keeping with this blog's love of anything Antoine Dodson...

McRib is McBack

http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/bella/2010/11/the_mcrib_returns_or_the_great.php

I will enjoy one during its time here. They are gone on Dec. 5th so hurry up.

100 mpf from W

Cubs bullpen can't catch a break even in the offseason

http://journalstar.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/article_a639cd92-e38c-11df-9ada-001cc4c002e0.html

It was only 8.4 pounds of contraband.

Ozzie Guillen almost traded to Marlins this year

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2010/10/white-sox-marlins-discussed-trading-ozzie-for-stanton.html

A manager being traded? What in the world? Also, we need to fix the MLB.

Another Mac Virus

The perils of having a bigger market share.

link

Riding the Bed Intruder Wave

Antoine Dogson

Antione is back

Click Me!!

Free at last

This post is mostly for Jeremy.

So i finally rooted my Droid. Always wanted to, especially after Jeremy did his. Felt a lot more comfortable doing it now that i know some Linux, and it's also hella easy to do now. I am running Bugless Beast v0.5. What ROMs have you used and what are you using currently? Also, anything special i should do?

I'm baackkkkkk

This would've been a pretty kickass show.

Scotty Kangaroo Shoes: The Show

Gay Robot Ryan Phillippe

Nick Swardson's Pretend Time	Tuesdays 10pm / 9c
www.comedycentral.com
Nick Swardson on Jokes.com

I want this so hard

Google TV enabled Sony

I want to go to college someday

EMBED-Blue Mountain State Admissions - Im a BMer! - Watch more free videos

10 years away?

I have told some of you I though cars would be driving themselves in 10 years. I knew people were working on the technology(DARPA challenge), but I didn't think they were anywhere close to translating it to the streets. Then I saw some of these articles.

I still think it will be closer to 10 years than 5 before these reach consumers, but my dreams of lighter traffic are on the way(probably another ten years before we git rid of these people driving cars though).

MoneyBART

This is the new episode of "The Simpsons." It is fairly good and involves saber-metrics. I recommend it. Also, the opening credits "couch scene" is phenomenal.

Blue Mountain State

Have you heard of Spike's college football themed comedy vehicle "Blue Mountain State"? It follows the fictional team from Blue Mountain State University (who are supposedly the best team in the country and eerily similar to Boise State) in a "Animal House meets Van Wilder" sort of way. It is lewd, crude, and hilarious. I hadn't heard of it until last week, but I am a huge fan now. Check it out.

http://www.spike.com/show/34560

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Mountain_State

Item Response Theory

I will give anyone a dollar if they can explain this to me adaquately.

Matt Murton for Certain Breaks Record

Murton breaks all time Japanese hits record held by (read article)

http://www.japanball.com/news.phtml?id=18239

Fucking Diabetic Tits

Google TV

Southwest in Bloomnor with Hyperlinks!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20100929/ap_tr_ge/us_travel_flight_plan_future_southwest

Southwest may be coming to Bloomington which means I may be able to get back more cheaply.

Stupid Post

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperlink

or

this

The latter takes like 5 more seconds and saves everyone else time, and it looks hotter.

Comprehensive Comprende?

So I finished my two day comprehensive exam today. 31 people total took the exam. There were many different versions of the exam being taken because of the variety of classes that people chose to put on their exams, but on average we all shared about 66% of the questions. Breakdown: 12 questions, 6 classes, 2 questions per class, no notes, no nothing except a department issued calculator. The historical pass percentage is nearly 80% so I really only need to be better than 6-10 of those who took the test. I think that should be more than doable, but you never know. I find out on Friday at about 4pm MST if I passed. I am going to pray a little pray for good news on Friday.

Is this what giving up is about?

Not just the fact that aaron miles is pitching, but the fact that it is on their homepage and they are trying to figure out how close he is to setting this idiotic diabetic record.

http://stlouis.cardinals.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20100929&content_id=15212844¬ebook_id=15213394&vkey=notebook_stl&c_id=stl

Da Bears

The 3 undefeated teams in the NFL right now are the Bears, the Chiefs, and the Steelers. I think if everyone in America was polled at the beginning of the season what 3 teams would be undefeated after week 3, no one would have guessed it right. I think this is fantastic not only because the bears are one of them(and their schedule could lead them to atleast 6-0) but also because teams like the colts and patriots are no longer as dominate as they once were.

Go Bears

ps. i found this article interesting but not worthy of a second post.

http://mobile.latimes.com/wap/news/text.jsp?sid=294&nid=23170009&cid=16686&scid=-1&ith=1&title=Nation

Not sure why its on the mobile site, but that explains why it looks so shitty.

pps. I'm not saying that the bears will be 6-0, but they can beat the shiity giants, panthers, seahawks, and maybe redskins(7-0?)(5-2?)(1985-0?)(3-4?).

Cee Lo Fuck You - Amazing

Cubs New Manager

Who cares who the Cubs new manager is or will be. Until they get a new general manager or someone who knows how to put a team together making the executory and managerial decisions without overpaying it doesn't matter who the skipper is, am I wrong?

Patton Oswalt

link

Words Cannot Describe

Video with Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson.

Where does your team rank?

Wildcats are #24 this week after not being ranked the previous week. We face Iowa at home on saturday 10:30 ET in a rematch game form last year. The game is on ESPN. This is where I will be on saturday so watch and get a glimpse of my neighborhood.

Where are all the good shows?

Here is a list of shows I am watching/planning on watching for the upcoming fall season:

Chuck
Community
Eastbound & Down
Fringe
Glee
How I Met Your Mother
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Modern Family
Outsourced*
Parenthood
The Big Bang Theory
The League
The Office

* = New for fall 2010

It looks like my Friday nights won't be so bad after all this semester. Well after Thanksgiving that is.

RSS Feeds

Would someone tell me what RSS Feeds are and how I might get RSS Feeds to things?

baseball argument sept. 2010

So pat and I were discussing why if there is interleague play you can go years without seeing some teams because they apparently just take a bunch of acid and throw darts to determine who plays who.

We all know I am against interleague play because there is no way to make the schedule fair with it. So pat and i decided on how to rework the schedule to make it as fair as possible.

It starts with sending the Gaystros to the AL west to even out the divisions(and making a nice houston vs Dallas rivalry). Then we decided that you should play everyone in the other league for a 3 game series, alternating home and away each year. This will give you 15*3 games or 45 games.

162 - 45 = 117 league games

Now, for teams not in your division you should play two 3 game series(one home and one away) which gives us 10*6 or 60 games.

117 - 60 = 57 divisional games

57 / 4 = 14.25 games, or 14 games against 3 divisional foes and 15 against the other(obviously rotating).

I do not need to see the shitty pirates, cubs, and astros 17 times a year. I do not need to see the mostly crappy brewers and awesome reds 17 times a year. I would rather see the twins, rangers, angels, and rays every other year. This will also do a much better job of evening out the unfairness that is interleague play.

No Pita, No Problem

Don't have any more pitas left to help you finish off that hummus you have in the fridge? Just use some leftover tortillas you have laying around you big dummy.

For your health.

Hedonism Bot

Two things, there is a futurama wiki.

And Hedonismbot contributes more to global warming than any other robot.

http://futurama.wikia.com/wiki/Hedonismbot

Mint.com

I don't know if any of you use mint.com, but it is an amazing way to keep track of your finances. Anyway, as I was looking through my transactions from over the weekend I decided to label my late night chase withdrawal. I decided not to lie to mint, so this is what it is.



I should have maybe broken it down into lap dance, dirty dollar game, and boob shots, but I decided to leave it as is.

Dog Bite Man

Sawsheezle, don't worry about burning Dog Bites Man, its out on dvd and netflix instant.

Chain of Love

I legit like this song.

My idiocity

So today at lunch my coworkers and I were talking about radio stations. One pointed out that 97.3 or something is always playing on their side of the office. He said he was amazed by how few songs they actually play claiming that they have a 2 hour loop(obviously exagerating a little).

Anyway he claimed that don't stop believing played as a part of that loop and I said.

"Does everybody break out in song and dance"

to which my boss responded

"I wish I lived in your world"

Public Funding Corruption in MLB

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=jp-marlinsfinancials082410

Good article. Taxpayers should not be paying for private stadiums for which the profit we receive from our investment is the ability to buy tickets to go to the stadium.

HBO

Eastbound and Down Season 2 September 26
Boardwalk Empire Season Premiere September 26

A show with Zach Galifianakis, Ted Danson, and Jason Schwartzman, Bored to Death Season 2

Hide your husband cause they're raping everybody out here

Chicago Air and (barely any) Water Show 2010

Sorry Rob, completely forgot to post these. Thanks for the reminder. I have about 20 pictures altogether if you want me to email them to you at all.


(the "smoke" [inside joke] looked computer generated)


(left "tracks" in the water from the jets on either side of this boat)

(douchey looking guy)

If I were GM

Think about Wyclef Jean's "If I Were President", but only the complete opposite.

Here is the news of the day.

"- According to sources close to the Cubs, their main target this off-season will be Adam Dunn. Jim Hendry internally admits he made the mistake signing Milton Bradley over Adam Dunn two seasons ago when Dunn was lobbying the Cubs to sign him"

http://cubsrumorsandnews.blogspot.com/

Adam Dunn is so money it makes me cry. My favorite player is Adam Dunn.

Thank God the Reds are a decent rival

For like the last 5-8 years I have thought the astros have been a better rival than the cubs for the cardinals. This sucks because the gaystros aren't good very much. So I was hoping the Cubs would be good again this year, but as expected they are fucking terrible.

So who would rival the cards this year?

The Reds!?!?!?!?!?

Well, the problem is if I had to choose a second favorite team from the central over the last couple years, it would be the reds. This bothers me because I couldn't bring myself to hate them(especially since 5 former cardinals including rolen and cub fan favorite edmonds). That was until Brandon Phillips decided to be a prick, leading to this epic battle on the diamond.

http://stlouis.cardinals.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20100810&content_id=13276098&vkey=news_stl&fext=.jsp&c_id=stl

Fuck the Reds, we are in first.

Dating older women

This is an awesome article.

Apparently the guys that run this are nerds that are very good at stats.

1:30 pm

What are you doing at 1:30 pm on a Saturday?

A) At home, unshowered, not yet ready to go out for the day.
B) Consuming a Budweiser and a bacon cheeseburger at a bar.
C) At the library studying.

GO GO POWER RANGER!

It's morphin' time!
(go to about 5:15 in the first video)

Prominent Jewish Athletes

Hint: He is neither #25 nor #7, but this Jewish legend was at the top of his game when he put up those numbers. 

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/1008/prominent.jewish.athletes/content.19.html

Scientology

Is this for real?

Just another tuesday morning in Chicago

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/laf/1865999502.html

i don't feel like linking it but please do the work yourself and follow it.

CPU problems discontinued

Ok so now the BSODs and a bunch of memory issues starting appearing and I went to test the memory and bam now the damn thing won't post to the bios. I am godammed RMAing the whole fucking thing now at this point.

Edit: Refund on both the motherboard and the memory, replacement for the cpu. I have to pay $35 for the refund, but it will be worth it. I think it should come in to be less than $80 for shipping the stuff plus this restocking fee. What a godammed wasted of time. I am going to try a different ram maker and a different mobo this time. Fuck my life.

Edit 2: I now get to use the packing peanuts that I have been saving in my closet for a while from all of the packages I have been receiving. Yay!

Computer Problems

So two weeks ago my desktop stopped booting all of a sudden. I would hit power and it would start spinning some fans, but it would not get into the bios. After researching and trying some things, I discovered that if I disconnected the power to the cpu itself, the computer would turn on and stay on leading me to believe that the cpu was bad. Not wanting to risk just buying another outdated cpu, I went ahead and ordered a new setup. My quad core Intel Q6600 went to an AMD Phenom II 1090t Black Edition hexa core processor and I added a motherboard and ram. I also bought a new case for fun. The rest of the old pc would be transferring. Now a week later, my stuff was on it's way. My stuff was supposed to be delivered last friday, but UPS wanted to fuck me and said no one was here and that they would try again on the next day (monday). I checked my tracking status at work and saw this and said "they are not going to fuck me" and left early and went home to diagnose the problem. I was able to work out an exchange between me and the driver at the UPS store two blocks from my apartment not long after so I was happy. I built the pc while watching the new Jason Lee vehicle "Memphis Beat" which deserves it's own post soon to follow and by the end of the night, the pc was built. I was waiting till the morning to install windows 7 because I thought why not? This is when the shit began to go down. Firstly, I could not get windows 7 to install. After trying nearly all day last Saturday, it finally installed. I thought all was well. It was not. Funny things started to happen. I am dual monitoring it up at the moment and my second monitor was flickering like mad. I would start to get random blue screens of death (BSOD) and I was frustrated. I began "stress testing" the cpu and the ram, but nothing was going on. I thought my HD was failing so I did checkdsik on it a bunch of times. No luck so far. It is about wednesday now and still weird shit going on. On thursday I read online that my new ram needs to have it's proper timings set in the bios. I check and indeed things were bad so I fix that. I still get some things going wrong, but a lot has been fixed at this point. I used to get BSODs telling me there was a ram issue, but now I was getting some other issues. I reinstalled the OS. I eventually find out that my printer driver hasn't been installed because windows update isn't turned on and the hardware conflict is causing BSODs and other errors. I install this and some more things are fixed. I start trying to play a game and I see a bunch of artifacts and the flickering is still there. I try an older driver and the flickering goes away, but the artifacts are still there. I eventually discover that I need to tweak the voltage to my graphics card in order to resolve the artifacts issue and sure enough it works. At the moment, I think everything is working and it only took me an entire week post build to fix all of the problems. Fuck my life.

This little girl has restored my faith in America

http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/chelsea-baker-one-of-little-league-s-best-pitchers-21046700

I pray that she can continue into hikes school and onto College. Bud Selig will roll over in his grave if she makes it into the mlb.

Check It Out!

The full Epic Season:

Episode 1 - Part 1: Food
Episode 1 - Part 2: Food

Episode 2 - Part 1: Relationships
Episode 2 - Part 2: Relationships

Episode 3 - Part 1: Family
Episode 3 - Part 2: Family

Episode 4 - Part 1: Health
Episode 4 - Part 2: Health

Episode 5 - Part 1: Fear
Episode 5 - Part 2: Fear

Episode 6 - Part 1: Friendship
Episode 6 - Part 2: Friendship

Electrolyte Breakfast

Due to intense Gatorade commercials I was led to believe in the magical powers of electrolytes, so I decided to see how much electrolytes I could shove into my body to make me more powerful.

I went here and found out the boring truth about electrolytes and learned that the best electrolytes are sodium, potassium, magnesium, chloride, and calcium.

I quickly realized from self nutritional data that this basically means table salt. Anyway, I found that the foods highest in potassium is rice bran, the foods highest in magnesium was coffee, and the highest foods in chloride, calcium, and sodium is table salt.

Quickly, one learns that the most pro-electrolyte way to start your day is to lick salt of your hand, then chug a heaping cup of coffee with a heaping spoonful or two of rice bran mixed in, then chase it with another taste of table salt.

I plan on doing this every morning for the rest of my life, as soon as I order rice bran and rice bran derivatives in bulk from this guys.

Remember, electrolytes are liquids that carry electricty. Therefore, electrolytes are power. For the most power, work coffee, rice bran, and table salt into every complete breakfast.

If you are on a diet, I strongly encourage you to blast the heat while you sleep in a track suit and watch horror movies before you go to bed. Remember, this is all you need for a complete breakfast.

That is, unless you believe these bananas:

Various hormones in the body help regulate intake of these electrolytes, and the kidneys filter electrolytes which reach excessive levels. Unhealthy levels of consumption of any or all of the body's necessary electrolytes can cause serious health issues.

Hamburgers

Notable Chicago Hamburgers that has been consumed by Capital_Prototype.

Villain's (Smothersburger)
Patty Burgers
Monk's Burgers
Epic Hamburgers
Five Guys and French Fries
White Castle

What do I still need to try?

Fishing Character

Check it out!

lebron james

great job

Female disney characters reimagined

The url is hilarious 

http://www.joblo.com/disney-princesses-get-drawn-with-the-intention-of-giving-you-a-hard-on

Doors

baseball argument

I just got in an argument with a co-worker who claimed that the best stat to rate an offense is runs scored.

I said OPS(i have read money ball, he is a white sox fan).

But it lead me to thinking. If you had to choose 1 traditional stat to rate an offense, would it be runs scored?

Pick your one stat. I know OPS isn't traditional but I will count it because it doesn't have any sabermetric voodoo on it.

Music By Former Assistants

The Hunted

-Hunter

Smart Money on Spain

So I googled Yahoo this morning and when I got there I found this.

http://g.sports.yahoo.com/soccer/world-cup/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Paul-the-octopus-has-made-his-final-selections?urn=sow,254898

I was looking for food because I think you can draw an area on their map and it will find all the food in that area. And I don't want to walk very far.

I haven't found this magical yahoo food yet, but this story was worth my googling(sp?) yahoo.

Sambuca Drink

Sometime ago I, Capital_Prototype, and the Coffbird managed to create a drink that would make those type-2 diabetes having folk in Mississippi cringe at the thought of such sweetness, but we did it anway and it was delightful. The recipe is simple: 1 part sambuca and ice with 2-3 parts Dr. Pepper. You can't go wrong with such a simple combination. On the SAT they would ask "Rum is to Coke as what is to what?" and the answer would be "Sambuca is to DP". This brings me to my main point: the name. After all of these years we don't have a name for it. The best we called it was "Sambuca with Dr. Pepper". That just won't do. When I come up with names (and I do quite a bit), I like to become intimate with who or what I am giving a nickname to. After the coitus, I feel like I have some deeper understanding of the person/object and feel more confident in my naming. Anyway, Sambuca as a word just doesn't lend itself to being thrown into a cool name so that is out. Dr. Pepper is already cool and has many names. What does one do? If we think about what Sambuca is, we may get some ideas. Sambuca is an anise (think fennel seed) based liquor and I think that provides us with all we need for a name. I tossed around this the other day: "DP in my Anise". Of course, you may want to massage the pronunciation of anise a bit, but I thought it was funny. "Hey barkeep I want some DP in my Anise!". Anyway, do you have any better thoughts? The drink needs a name no doubt.

If you haven't seen Louie yet

you probably should. This scene is especially fantastic.

Havin' Cake

I learned what the expression "You can't have your cake and eat it too" means today.

Since the first time I heard this expression I was confused. I was all like, if you have a cake, then its yours, so why shouldn't you be able to eat it?

Apparently, they mean that when you eat it you can't have it anymore after that.

Honestly, how hard would it have been to say "You can't eat your cake and still have it."

-According to wikipedia this is the original version, "wolde you bothe eate your cake, and have your cake?"

F The All Star Game

There is so much wrong with the game it pisses me off to no end. The rosters are so bloated that practically everyone is an All Star these days. It is like giving kids a participation award so they won't feel like little wimps or wussies or whatever. The fan voting is always messed up because the fans are dumb and the vote is always geographically tilted. Perhaps the biggest mistake of all is letting the game decide homefield advantage in the world series. It used to switch back and forth between the leagues every year which made sense at least. This game is an exhibition game only and because of this newfound "meaning" to the game we get idiots like Charlie Manuel putting Omar Infante on the team just because he is a utility guy even though he isn't even an everyday player. Manuel even considered Steven Strasburg for the team!? He has only pitched a few games and has put up only decent numbers. Be real dude.

To fix the game do the following:
Limit the team to standard 25 man rosters
No fan voting
The game doesn't count for anything

I was wrong

Headline News on si.com

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/basketball/ncaa/06/30/illinois.state.hill.ap/index.html

Chatty Cathy

I've been chatting up this lady tonight on the good ol chatroulette.


This chick tried to convince me she was 16.


This chick "nexted" me twice but fate couldn't keep us apart.

Go-to beer ratings

 Straight from ratebeer.com. Scores are overall and then style. This pretty much confirms what we already knew: PBR rules.


Pabst Blue Ribbon___ 3    24
Schlitz_____________3    22
Coors Original_______1    12
Miller High Life______1    12
Miller Genunie Draft__1    10
Red Dog___________1    6
Budweiser__________0    4
Miller Lite__________0    3
Coors Light ________0    2
Bud Light__________0    1
Keystone Light______0     1
Natural Light________N/A    0

Duty

link

Fucking, really?

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/06/30/va.hospital.hiv/index.html?eref=igoogle_cnn

fail or biggest fail

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37979782/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/

The fact that this is an article is histarical to me.

Jaw dropping

This is hands down one of the most incredible things i've ever seen. Now, if only there were instructions on how to build it...

Just fucking fire him

This is what Jim Hendry said about Big Z

"There was nothing wrong with the investment,” Jim said. “This guy was an outstanding pitcher in the National League, in the game, for the 4-5 years before that. There was no question that the deal was a solid one in the industry. He certainly would have been one of the hotter tickets on the street if that thing went to the end of the season. This guy pitched a lot of innings, won a lot of games, lived in the shadow of Woody and Prior for a couple of years. Really, over the body of work, pitched as well as anybody in the National League for a 3-4 year period. He certainly pitched well enough to earn that contract whether it’s here or somewhere else."

Here is the rest of the article.

Shouldn't he be focussed on getting rid of that mother fucker as fast as possible?

Boston Moneyball

The Boston Red Sox hired Bill James in their front office.

This is strong evidence that the team is managing or decision making in accordance with sabermetric or "moneyball" principles.

I do, however, that the team seems divided, making some smart moves, and some traditional old baseball moves.

How awesome is this shirt

everyone but rob 1-10

Rob - Rage - Spiderman

http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=14319

pretty fucking amazing

Androideroids (rough cut) from Grant Skinner on Vimeo.

More Illegal Immigration news

Nebraska town fights against illegal immigration. Will be sued.

Nebarska

Home

Central Illinois: "Where the Corn belt, bible belt, heartland, and tornado alley come together to produce extremely well adjusted Americans".

TS Quint Kidnapped!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/17/jeremy-london-kidnapped-f_n_615636.html

Watch out Brody!

The Day Moneyball Died?

http://joeposnanski.si.com/2010/06/16/the-day-moneyball-died/

This guy is right on some things, but wrong on many others. The major lesson of moneyball was to evaluate the game in a more scientific manner than it was being and to look at baseball from an economic standpoint. The undervalued assets of yesterday are not the same as the undervalued assets of today. Bill Beane may have a broner for the World Cup, but he is not dead; just reborn. If you want to see someone who aborted his moneyball before it even made it past the first trimester (morally sound at least), take a look at Sweet Lou. Fire everyone. The new owner seems like a dweeb. Len and Bob still rule. Is Carlos Silva the new Hank White?

kinda funny

Null vector

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I have been going on a lot of coffee dates in order to find that special someone and to make capital_prototype proud. Proud? Proud. Long story short, been rejected a couple of times and the one girl who liked me I couldn't stand because it was apparent that she used to be fat and was $45,000 in debt. Oh and I didn't like her anyway. Total so far: 4 girls brought to dates, 2 I liked, 2 rejections from said girls, 0 coitus.

Failblog et al.

article behind the scenes of the biz

Kegel time

6. Do your Kegels.

Experts say that as many as 1 in 4 women over the age of 18 experience episodes of involuntary leaking urine, called urinary incontinence. It’s embarrassing and frightening, but there is something you can do about it, say experts: Keep your pelvic floor muscles strong. According to a review of studies by The Cochrane Library, the pelvic-floor strengthening exercises known as Kegels were found to be an effective way to minimize urinary incontinence issues. Proof: Women who did their Kegels were between 2.5 and 7 times more likely to experience improvement than those who did not do the exercises.

Need a quick refresher course on how to do Kegels? First, to figure out which muscles need flexing, some experts suggest women insert a tampon or a clean finger into their vagina and then try to close their vaginal muscles around it. Contract these pelvic muscles and hold for about 3 seconds; repeat 10 times. Do these as often as you like, and anywhere you like—no one will know.

soup time

http://stlouis.cardinals.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20100610&content_id=11032082&vkey=news_stl&fext=.jsp&c_id=stl

Cubs Players working on their own reverse-SB1070 situation

Wow.

Laptop

I want a laptop with the following

all metal chasis
backlit keyboard
15" screen
4GB ram
anti glare screen
display port/hdmi connectivity
decent battery
optical drive
well thought out design
under $1500

Anything being made that fits this? Apple is close, but $1800 for a 15" laptop is a joke. $1200 for the 13" is much better, but it is too small.

This is becomming huge

People are talking about this like it's new. This happened to Sawyer in December.

Funny Digital Short

Don't know if you guys keep up with your digital shorts or not.

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT!

COD fans?

and fuck your resizing. Click twice and follow through to youtube.

Package

I ordered a package from a private seller through amazon. They shipped it today, June 8, 2010, through USPS. Its estimated arrival is June 29, 2010. Are they shipping it by horse and buggy?

Jeff Soup-pan

on MLBTR

Old Topics Die Hard

I was reviewing the MLB draft and I am pissed off. I can't believe that a loser team like the Pirates can just keep on gaming everyone who likes the game of baseball and get #2 overall picks. Shame on them.

Cardinals' Winn

Did you like that?

I'd like your thoughts

http://current.com/groups/on-current-tv/91702124_my-boyfriend-is-a-bus.htm

"Tom Gozelanny Trade Value"

post on mlb trade rumor

Random Email

I found in my gmail account I sent to Pat that made me laugh:

On a related note, Steinberg was in town a couple weeks ago and we had lunch. He was wearing a Spiderman T-shirt, so I eventually asked him what the story behind the shirt was. He was like "What?" and then looked at his shirt and said, "Oh, no I just think this is a cool shirt." At which point I laughed and tried to let him know that he was a grown man.

Keep forgetting

Youtube videos

If you want to have the youtube video show on the blog without it being clipped on the side, set the width in the html to be 400. Of course, be sure to keep the video in the correct aspect ratio and adjust the height accordingly. I adjusted the height to 321 from 385 and the width to 400 from 480. Edit the html of this post if you want to see where to change things.

Super Mario Bros X

If you love any or all Super Mario Bros games then you need to download this game.

Fucking Sweet

woot.com

As some of you may have know there has been a woot off going on the last 2 days. Every woot off on the second day sometime in the afternoon sells 1500 bag-o-craps. If you don't know what that is google it. Any way I almost got one today.

Almost getting it is worse than not getting close. Normally I don't get close. Just now I got all the way to "order processing", which is way after entering CC info. Then my order was rejected for lack of inventory.

I got Bag-O-Crap blue balls.

All the kids are saying it

Pron-bone

Meaning: A boner caused by the watching of mad pron

Origin: Slang (Tucson, AZ)

Used in a sentence: I have a pron-bone for my rim-clone.

Cougar Down

So after some beers and after reading a sterling recommendation from Capital_Prototype I decided to watch another episode of Cougar Town. I made it exactly one minute in and had to shut it down. Bill Lawrence what the fuck are you doing? You have made me pray for nuclear fucking holocaust in one minute.

Pre Workout Rant

Fudge the following:

my failing three front war
sans humidity
dumb broads
regular broads for the most part
the Cubs front office
people boycotting AZ
illegal immigrants killing Arizonans
match.com
eharmony.com
plentyoffish.com
these dudes at McDonald's today with jean shorts on
having a 0.1% success rate with email in online dating sites
the usual
the Stros
the Cards
the Bucs
the Reds
the Red Sox
the Yankees
the Dodgers

Rumor Mill

Bob Howry is about to be signed by the Cubs after being released by the D'Backs.

Alpha King

Someone please go buy some Alpha King and drink one for me. I am boning for it hard right now.

Cubs and Mad Dog

"- I will leave you today with a nice tidbit! It is no coincidence that Greg Maddux was to fill the role as assistant GM to Jim Hendry according to a source. This source says that it was Tom Ricketts idea to bring in Greg Maddux not Jimbos. Greg is basically being groomed for the GM job for the Chicago Cubs according to this source, which could actually be coming sooner rather than later."

This comes from one of my favorite Cubs blogs. I am a little worried about this. Is Maddux qualified? Does he have good business sense? Does he know what makes a quality club? Has he even fucking read Moneyball? I don't think Jim Hendry has either, but that is another story.

Cougartown

I am watching cougartown episode 1. It has made me pray for nuclear fucking holocaust in five minutes.

Turn Offs

Breast tattoo(s)
Yearly trips to Dinseyland/world
Ear lobe spacer earrings
Christian
Having more than one dog
Pro Sarah Palin
Not into boneing
Too short
Too tall
Too dumb
Nurses

Sons of Tucson Canceled

Sons of Tucson, the new Tyler Labine vehicle, has been canceled by fox after only four episodes. Apparently there will be a marathon-like burn-off of the unaired episodes in june. Better get them all before they are gone from the interweb forever.

China

"China, which has 300 million smokers, is the world's largest smoking nation and it consumes a third of the world's cigarettes. Nearly 60 percent of men in China smoke, puffing an average of 15 cigarettes per day."

Who knew?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100513/sc_nm/us_butts

pretty sweet

And a good way to waste time.

http://unrealitymag.com/index.php/2010/05/06/12-comic-actors-stand-up-from-way-back-when/

Cox? Cake

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Atlanta Braves manager Bobby Cox is laughing off a Capitol Hill cake mix-up.

Cox was honored earlier this week with a ceremony in Washington hosted by U.S. senators Johnny Isakson of Georgia and Jay Rockefeller of West Virginia. The Braves were in town to play the Nationals, and Cox was saluted for his long time in baseball.

But the decorative writing on the dessert cake misspelled his name in a rather unfortunate way.

Cox says he didn't even know about the mistake until Wednesday. He says the cake was already cut when he enjoyed a piece.


An unfortunate way? Oh my. Could only be one...

Prior Mark Speaks

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/may/06/prior-to-strasburg-been-there-done-that/

Even I admit this is cool

Ok I am hating in Apple ever since the iPad and the iPhone prototype debacle, but I will say this is cool

SI Power Rankings

In summary Cubs are #17 this week up from #19.

Here is  the quote: "It's a good thing Kosuke Fukudome is producing at the plate, with five homers, a .321 average and a .415 OBP, because Ultimate Zone Rating ranks him as baseball's sixth-worst outfielder, having already cost the Cubs 4.8 runs in right field. And everyone thought Alfonso Soriano was bad in left. (He is, but only -0.3 runs bad.)"

That I did not know. I wish UZR was part of the fantasy baseball scoring methodology. 

Weird Milton Bradley Stuff

Linked

brewdog nuclear penguin

Now made with real penguin

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1978705,00.html

http://www.brewdog.com/product.php?id=46

Lou Piniella

on Carlos Zambrano in the pen.

Walking Tour to Streetlight Manifesto concert

On July 17, Streetlight Manifesto will be playing down the street from my apartment at a venue called "The Rock". To see how close it is to me follow the link. You can even take a virtual tour!

Linkbate

Cubs Payroll

link

Who in tarnation signs the most productive but worst defensive second baseman to a 8 year $136 million contract. Are we really supposed to root for this guy for five more years?

Meanwhile, we are paying a man nearly $19 million to hold down four run leads in late innings?

Was Fukudome worth $14 million total over four years?

Tom Gorzelanny is my man at $800,000.

Cardinals Payroll

Thoughts on Albert Pujols?

Pirates $39 million payroll

For Your Health

I have made another life change by switching from footlong chicken breast sammiches at Subshack to 6". It is also a confidence boost as my penis is now bigger than the sandwich. I am still trying to get over the last hurdle and lose some more poundage.

In other news, my friends and I have been talking about forming a band and jamming. We want to call ourselves something that combines our music and our love of optical physics. I have suggested that we call ourselves "Stimulated Emission" which comes from the Laser and also hand jibbers. I think it is a no brainer. When asked at a party the other night what kind of music we were going to play, I said "baby making music". bduh.

Classy Article

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/luke_winn/04/30/winn.uecker/index.html

About Bob Uecker. What a guy. Hilarious stuff in here.

Hold on

I didn't realize this was the last week of school so I am holding off on the final chapter of the girls from wiconsin story. It was going to be two chapters, but due to the sensitive nature of the third chapter it has been banned. It will happen. Go Cubs.

debowed

http://dvice.com/archives/2010/04/jon-stewart-nai.php

Ryan Howard

link

Motorcycle helmet

http://store.helmetsrus.com/hjcclcrfuhe.html

what do you think of this helmet?

I wish the design didn't have a skull in it but I still think its pretty cool. I am just afraid that if I order it the design might suck in real life.

My alternate choice is just an all matte black helmet.

This will be my motorcycle.

http://www.bikez.com/motorcycles/suzuki_gs_500_e_2001.php

For Sawyer

Don't know if you saw this yet or not. You can now watch MLB games on your PS3 with your MLB.TV account.

It looks incredibly awesome. You can jump to a certain inning, switch between home and away feeds, check the entire schedule, plus tons more.

Girls from Wisconsin: Part 2

This is one of the stories that happened in between the two Wisconsinites, but it is important all the same to the entire tale.

So when a girl initiates an email with you it usually means one of two things; she is either some sort fat ass or she is genuinely interested in you. Most of the time it is the latter because on match.com even the heffers have some sort of “Brad Pitt is going to come along someday” fantasy that they can’t get over and end up overlooking your potential which is a good thing in this case. When I was emailed by some girl out of the blue, it was the latter situation.

She was 24 years old, a Tucson native, and a first grade teacher. Her interests included UA football. She had red hair and was 5’9”. She seemed somewhat conservative in dress, but was of normal attractiveness. This brings up a quick side note for me. I am not a picky guy on these ladies. If you are of normal attractiveness, average height, and have a college degree, you are probably going to interesting to me. Back to the teacher. We sent some emails back and forth and I asked her out for coffee like I always do because coffee is pretty innocent and I am an innocent guy. She said yes and thank goodness she actually suggested a day. I told her to pick the place because I had no idea in what part of town she lived and therefore no clue to where she would like to go so I figured I should let her feel comfortable in a place of her choosing. Barnes and Noble was the place. This was fine. The fact that this place was on the far north side of town sucked. For a 6:30 coffee date, rush hour traffic would put the drive time at almost 40 minutes.

I met her at the Starbucks in the B and N and I must say she was more attractive in person than her photos had presented her. She was still of normal attractiveness, but was now more in the middle of the spectrum than the lower part. We sat down and had our drinks and I brought up conversation about UA football which turned out to be about the only thing we had in common. The date never got uncomfortable, but it was clear to me at least that there was no way this was going anywhere. I will now state without proof that I was in fact an ideal man for her, but she was nowhere close to ideal for me.

Things started to go wrong when we started walking around and looking at books. She was just a little too interested in the new and noteworthy publishings in the children’s section. I don’t give a fuck about kid’s books and I think that the first book kids should read is Johnny Tremain since it will teach them about American history, midwifery, silver smithing, and apprenticing which are all things I want them to know about. This was the end of January so there were already displays set up about black history month and there was a special display for President Obama. As we walked by the Obama display she grunted and shook her head a little. This didn’t really bother me too much because we all have different views, but I thought I would press her on the subject. I asked her about the last election and I found out that she was not against Sarah Palin. This upset me, but I would never end a coffee date early unless I had a good reason too. We then started talking about other things. I told her about physics and how in a lot of ways I am a robot who looks at equations and spits out numbers. I think she got concerned and at one point she asked me if I “believed in miracles”. I asked if she meant explicitly a “divine intervention” kind of thing and she was hesitant to say yes. It was at this time that somehow in the furthest edge of my periph I caught the title of a book. The book was titled “The Physics of Miracles”. How apropos. She admitted that she did mean divine intervention and I answered back “absolutely not”.

The rest of the experience was more of the same. I found out she had been to Disneyland 15 times which is at least 14 times too much in my book. A plus was that she already had her own house, but a huge minus was that she had three dogs. Fuck. I am barely comfortable around one dog. How would I be around three and in a pro-Palin household? We talked about movies. She preferred Cars to Ratatouille and I said I preferred Ratatouille to Cars. She listened to country music exclusively and I avoid it like the plague. Somehow I ended up telling her that my favorite movie was Freddy Got Fingered which I don’t regret, but I have thought about since. In the end, she was very nice and put up with me (and I her) for the entire time, but we were definitely not compatible.

This experience is all about integrity. I stuck to my convictions and wasn’t going to lie or change who I am to enhance my possibilities of coitus. The thing I keep thinking since then is “should I have?”.

2009 Player Rate: Continued

If you add up the scores for the top 13 pitchers and top 13 hitters it looks like this

hitters = 3037.4

pitchers = 3688.5

Then the pitchers score you about 21.4% more points than the hitters. Thoughts? Is this actually bad?

Cubs: The rebuilding years

Trade

Soriano
Baker
Fontenot
Theriot
Zambrano



Send to AAA to learn how to play ball

The Shark



Fire

Lou Pinella
Jim Hendry


Hire

A team of saber-metricians

Cubs

Lost a series against the Braves.
Lost a series against the Reds.
Lost a series against the Astros.
Are losing a series against the Mets.

Won a series against the Brewers.

What a pitiful team.

2009 Player Rater

If you go to "Players" then "Free Agents" then "All" then choose either "Batters" or "Pitchers", you can see their final 2009 rating by clicking "2009".

 Here are the top 27 players from last year.

 1. Pujols            401.6    H
 2. Greinke         362.2
 3. Hernandez     359.7
 4. Carpenter     349.4
 5. Lincecum      327.1
 6. Wainwright   313.2
 7. Fielder          297.2    H
 8. Halladay       287.8
 9. Vasquez       272.8
10. Haren          246.3
11. Sabbathia    242.7
12. Mauer         240.7    H
13. Jurrgens      238.2
14. Verlander    235.9
15. Cain            230.1
16. H. Ramirez  224.9    H
17. Johnson       223.1
18. Howard       220.4    H
19. Teixeria       217.6    H
20. Braun          211.9    H
21. Bay             209.8    H
22. Utley           207       H
23. Gonzales     206.1    H
24. Lee             204.1    H
25. Youkilis      203.5    H
26. Zobrist        192.6    H
27. Lilly            188.1

So there is tendency for the most elite players to be pitchers, but after that there is a large number of super star hitters. I guess knew this already in preparation for the draft. Out of 27 players 13 are hitters. The scoring may seem lopsided now, but I do believe it will average out. Actually there is strategy involved. Benching a player on a day when he would have had a negative contribution will keep his score high and thus you could score higher than these numbers from last year. What fun!

Player Rater 2010

Notice that only 2 of the top 20 are not pitchers.

Girls from Wisconsin: Part 1

 This is part 1 in a multipart series.


Before we begin, we must understand some things.

According to the 13th definition of "cock tease" on urbandictionary.com, a "cock tease"
is defined as

"A girl who tells your she wants to hook up with you but in the end of the day screws you over".

This definition is more or less true to this occasion, but not to this degree. I will admit that the
teasing of my cock never got to this level. If anything, I guess I could say that my cock thought it
might get teased in the near future and that in turned teased it. Cock teasing truly is a visicious
cycle.

Match.com plays heavily into the story and it is also important that we understand some things on the
basics of it's innerworkings. Match.com plays host to a bevy of profiles of young men and women who
are looking to fuck, but haven't found anyone to get their fuck on with in the real world for various
reasons. For the women it is usually because they are fat or are into some weird shit or are just
weird or look like dudes or are physical freaks. Excuse me, that is for girls our age. For women of near
30 it is because they are genuinely interested in getting boned for the long haul and are serious about
putting in an honest effort. For men of all ages, it is because it is really fucking hard to meet chicks
when you are busy with other stuff and you really want to bone them. Some other things to note, you can
click on a person's profile and when the person logs in and goes to their "home screen" they can see who
cliked on their profiles and how many times (in total only) their profile was looked at. For women, these
numbers are super huge and they probably lose sense of how many times a single person looked at their
profile, but for men it is different. We are lucky if a chick a day looks at us so we keep good track
of how many times they sneak a peak. The last thing you need to know is that everyday match.com sends you five matches that you can click "yes", "no", or "maybe" too and if you click yes, it will send the person an email
letting them know you are "interested". It is not cool for dudes to click yes on any of their matches
because the girls feel uncomfortable. A girl clicking "yes" is a very rare occurrence and is usually a good
sign.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The following story will contain violent language and predujices against midwestern peoples. If you
are offended by any of this, stop reading now and go put that High School Musical dvd back on. Also,
this story sucks.

A few months back a girl on match.com caught my eye. Okay, most of the girls on there catch my eye, but
this girl actually responded to my email. She was a huge baseball fan and we discussed the concept of
Brewers baseball. It took her quite a while to respond to my emails, but she eventually did. I found
out she was a flight instructor and taught high school aged kids how to fly. I thought this was weird
for a good looking 23 year old woman, but anything goes out here in the Old Pueblo plus I wanted to bone
so I figured "when in rim". I am usually pretty smooth when it comes to asking girls out for coffee and
I think I was in this case too, but I can't remember how I did it. I figure that going for a cup of
coffee is about as innocent as a date can get so why the fudge not? Anyway, she did respond to my query
, but instead of saying yes to which I could follow up with "What time is good or you?" or "How about
wednesday?", she said "Here's my number xxx-xxxx". I figured ok dog, this is why you strategically got
text messaging two years ago. Shoot this chick a text and you will be gravy. She gave me her number on
a Wednesday and I waited until Friday to shoot her a message. Before I sent her the message, something
interesting happened near Phoenix on that Thursday. There had been a small plane crash that had killed
two people. It was reported later in the day that the two people who were killed were a flight student
and a 23 year old female flight instructor. I thought this was almost too weird to be a coincidence, but
I crossed my fingers and said a prayed a little pray hoping that my bone ship hadn't sailed. So I sent
her a text on Friday asking her what she was up to. She eventually responded indicating here lifeforce
was intact, but she was busy working out and had to work the next morning. I replied asking her if she
wanted to do anything over the weekend to let me know. She said ok and that was that. I never messaged her
again and she never looked at my profile again. She clearly wasn't interested so why give me her number?
I now have clues as what her motives were, but they are only speculations.

Girls from Wisconsin: Update

I promised capital_prototype to spill the beans about the story, but I am waiting just a little bit longer until some new developments unfold. Note, when I says girls, I mean that he story is about two different girls girls from Wisconsin and my experiences with them.

Arizona is Gettin Tough on Illegals

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20100416/us_time/08599198226800

In summary, bill would allow state authorities to arrest illegal immigrants. I am 100% for this. Most of the crime here in southern AZ is from illegals and the drug wars in Mexico. Eliminating one is a start.

Girls from Wisconsin

I am drinking beer right now.

There is a story to go along with this, but I am drinking and I don't want to type. Maybe if I get drunk enough I will spill the beans. In summary, don't trust girls from Wisconsin because they will tease the fuck out of your cock.

The Art Of Chili

I have a starting point for Chili (by special request) posted below. But before that I am going to give the following tips regarding sweet delicious chili.

1. Stew Meat - One key to chili, in my opinion, is using hunks or meat, usually stew meat. You go ahead and brown it up in a pan first, browning it and adding any delicious spices and fresh vegetables that suit your fancy (onion, chili's).
2. Next step is add the tomato base. I always like to add tomato paste to thicken her up nicely.
3. Add all your favorite spices. I like chili powder, and get crazy with it. I also like cumin, and get less crazy with it. Ditto salt. Of course, you can tweak it from there, paprika and so on.
4. Slow Cook. You bring the concoction up to a boil, cut the heat to low / medium low and let it slow cook. This will make your meat super tender, blend and mellow the flavors, and again, thicken her up nice.
5. Make it your own. Add whatever ingredients you really like. You really like celery, weird, but go for it! I would steer away from green bell peppers and soggy mushrooms though.
6. Add beer if you want.
7. Be a man. Make it spicy. Unless your middle aged and making it for your pre-teen daughters.
8. Don't make beanless or meatless chili. Just don't.

______________________________________________

Throwdown Chili

2 lb stew meat
8 tbs olive oil
5 TBSP medium-hot chili powder or 3 TBSP habanero powder
3 medium onions chopped
8 garlic cloves
2 tsp cumin, ground
2 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh ground pepper
4 lb canned italian plum tomatoes drained and chopped
1 large can kidney beans
1 large can black beans
24 oz beer, Arrogant Bastard or other hoppy beer
6 oz tomato paste

Toss meat with 3 TBSP olive oil and 2 tsp chili powder in a non -aluminum bowl. Let stand in refridgerator overnight.

Heat 3 TBSP oil in large heavy skillet over medium high heat.
Brown the meat on all sides, about 5 minutes.
Transfer to a large pot using a slotted spoon.

Reduce heat to medium low. Add more oil to skillet if necessary.
Add onions and cook until translucent, about 10 minutes.

Add garlic, chili powder, cumin, salt and pepper. Stir 3 minutes then transfer to pot.

Stir in tomatoes, beer, and tomato paste. Bring to a boil then reduce heat.

Rinse and drain beans and add to pot, cover and simmer until meat is very tender, stirring occasionally, about 3 hours. Uncover during last hour if necessary to thicken liquid into sauce. Serve in a small bowl with warning label

Please god stop

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/baseball/mlb/04/14/tobacco.congress.ap/index.html

You cannot force the MLB to stop allowing its players to use chewing tobacco! Can you (the government)? Seriously stop. Let them get mouth cancer. Who the fuck cares. Please focus on why people are getting poored and not why the Giambi brothers have mouth cancer.

The Specials

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Cholula

I ordered a box of 12 12 oz bottles of Cholula direct from the manufacturer. The total cost with shipping is about $58 bucks. About the best price you can find except for a Costco/Sam's Club situation (they no longer sell the stuff at Costco here).

Cardinals, Payrolls

article

The Bucs read Moneyball and then some

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/sky_andrecheck/04/08/pirates.order/index.html

I am impressed.

Women want him, and men want to be him

its like a gift

Cubs are pooring us in this economy

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/baseball/mlb/04/07/ticket.prices.ap/index.html

Summary: we have the most expensive tickets in the MLB. I wish it weren't the case.

Modern Family Episode

Commercial or Sitcom?

Cubs

Why was Marshall pulled so early? Tough break for Big Z as the defense sucked (Theriot!). Jeff Samardzija should be starting in AAA and not on this team's bullpen.

Opening Day

If I could, I would have the day off and grill burgers and brats and drink brews and watch every game in HD on multiple screens in 360 degree surround sound, but I have homework and school so I cannot.

Subway can soothe the tummy and the soul

Incredible

8-bit Dark Side Of The Moon:

Coke 10

Mix 90% Coke Zero and 10% Coke. It is good. I am striving to go all the way to Coke Zero however.

Health Update

I have made the switch to exclusively getting oven roasted chicken breast sandwiches from Subshack. They have a lot less grams of fat than tuna and a shit ton less mercury.

 I have been going to the gym 6 times a week for a few weeks now (up from 3) to further kick the weight loss into gear.

I am trying to run more, but when you can't run that much it is hard to get much enjoyment out of it.

All of these will hopefully lead to a substantial increase in boner usage. Currently the boners are wasted much like the dilemma the strawberry farmers in Florida are facing.
 

Saw's homemade miracle body oil

Take equal parts Olive Oil, Grapeseed Oil, and Castor Oil. Mix togehter. Enjoy. Use only a few drops or you will be oily. This is close to the recipe for some of the most expensive pre-shave oils out there, but it also works for moisturizing in general. Tip: put a drop in you palm rub it around and use a a light hair conditioner/moisturizer. For your health.

Two awesome videos

"Weird: The Al Yankovic Story" from Aaron Paul

fantastic

Against

Jersey Shore
Los Angeles  Dodgers
Fat people
Bro Dogs
120 Hz
240 Hz
Gillette
Diet drinks
The Stros
New York Mets
New York Yankees
Bad times
Stupid People
New School
Old School
Not Cool
Too Cool
Devil's Three Way

Man Success(with photo graphic evidence)

Thanks for the props rob. Here are some shots.

Before:

After:

Man Success

Jeremy finally arb'ed his center for his very own CS2, but his set-up (tv stand) was not ready to accommodate the much larger center speaker. His girlfriend pleaded with him not to go forward on the project, but where there is a will there is a way, and he ordered it. He then modded his entertainment stand using large wooden dowel rods raising creating a space for his center and raising the overall height of his HD plasma television set to a more appropriate height.

Congrats, and you are an inspiration to us all.

March madness

I don't know if you guys got my email or not but i started a tournament group on ESPN for March Madness. Come fill out your brackets if you want password is "toddy"

Midwestern values

I think this says it all about who we are

Values