Hamburger Rap

M-C-D, M-C-D
I like my cow on a bun (with cheese!)
(repeat)

I like to eat at the hamburger stand
but I don't like to eat my hamburgers bland
that why I go to my cousin Stan
he's known in the biz as the hamburger man
he imports his beef from pakistan
thats why it comes inside of a can
I tell him I'll take two in a frying pan

M-C-D, M-C-D
I like my cow on a bun (with cheese!)
(repeat)

Menthol

I have a conditioner with menthol and I never want to condition my hair without menthol again. So, when I saw Gillete's shaving cream with menthol I bought it.

I want more men's grooming products that include menthol.

bing

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1915736

Jeremy's Other Dream

This is my cousin living Jeremy's other dream.

Albert Pujols

used steroids.

My dream come true

Last night I went 2-3 with a 2 run double and a run scored. That brings me to 7/13 on the season(.538) and my slugging to .615.

I also pitched because our normal pitcher was busy. 7 innings pitched, 3 runs(1 earned). 3 walks and like 5 hits. we won 12-3, bringing us to 3-2 on the season.

I said I was gonna try to get a walk, but I came up with the bases loaded in the first and went up swinging for the fences. My next atbat I got to a 2-1 count(start at 1-1), but the pitch was too pretty and I popped up to center. My third atbat I swung at the first pitch because there was a runner in scoring position with 2 outs and I legged out an infield single.

I will get a walk before the season is over.

ps. quality start.

Total Wine

I know they don't have them back home, but I just went to a Total Wine store and I was so overjoyed at their prices.

$13.99 for a dirty 30 of PBR, Everywhere else it is $8.50 a 12 pack

$11.99 for a 12 pack of Sierra Nevada, $22.5ish for a Case

$4.99 for six packs of Mojo IPA and Hazed and Infused from Boulder Beer!

$7.99 4 pack of Dogfish Head 90 minute IPA

$11.5 for a 12 pack of Sammy Adams


The place I had been going to is a cool little place with the neatest selection I have seen, but their prices are bad. They only sell by the bottle. 1 bottle of sammy adams is $1.60. Thats $9.60 a six pack and $19.20 a twelve pack.


http://www.totalwine.com/

My exercising

S-Bomb's revelation of how much of a strong pimp he is got me thinking about my exercising lately. So I checked my ipod to see how much I've run since december.

7 runs.

5.4 miles.

best mile 11:40.

So I ran last night.

8 runs.

6.45 miles.

best mile 10:50.

I tried really hard to beat my best mile time, which I did. But I used to be able to run two miles in 13 minutes, something I would like to get back to.

Michael & Michael

Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter have a new show coming out on Comedy Central July 15th.

Nicknames: Fallon Bucks The Trend

At what age does a man drop the nickname associated with youth?

Daniel Haren made it to the majors as Danny, until finally settling on Dan.

Robert Sutter made it to college as Robby, until finally settling on Rob.

James Fallon got his own late night talk show, yet he still insists on being called Jimmy.

Jimmy! I wouldn't mind Danny or Robby as much as Jimmy!

Jim Fallon is a dope (period).

The Baxter Revisited

I just watched the Baxter again after a some time away from the film. I now see why some of those out there in cyber-land didn't fall in love with the film. I still love it, but I now understand where you are coming from.

Update

Ok I am drinking and watxhing Stella on the tv. I ate BBQ and saw The Hangover today. Both good. The newest buzz at the moment is that I am having man boob removal surgery this winter. It has been set up by the Ma. Crazy. Well we'll see what happens, but this should be a breakthrough in the world of the sawsheezle. This coupled with benching massive weights (225 lbs) should aid in self confidence and ultimately boning.
This is the first time I have droppped this news update bomb.

Russian Imperial Stout

I am drinking our RIS.

Kauffman Stadium

They've been renovating Kauffman Stadium. I couldn't find a good picture, but I would recommend you try to catch part of the fox broadcast today if its available in your area.

It looks so much better. They put seats out in the outfield in front of the water. It is awesome.

Jimmy Falon Funny?

http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/blogs/2009/06/rush-limbaugh-karaoke/

With The Farns, Its Always Something

KANSAS CITY -- Royals reliever Kyle Farnsworth was bitten by one of his dogs on Tuesday morning and had four stitches taken in his left index finger but said he was able to pitch.

"I'm just glad it wasn't my other hand," said Farnsworth, a hard-throwing right-hander.

Farnsworth's left index or forefinger was wrapped in tape, which was protruding from his glove as he went through batting practice shagging balls in center field. The dog's bite reached a tendon, but did not cause serious damage.

"My dogs got in a fight this morning and I just tried to break it up and they bit me in the process," Farnsworth said.

Farnsworth said he owned two American bulldogs, one about 80 pounds and the other about 90 pounds. They're named Strike and Rambo. The incident happened about 7:30 a.m. CT Tuesday morning when the dogs got into a scrap apparently over sharing the affections of Farnsworth's children.

He's not sure which dog bit him this morning at his Leawood, Kan., home.

"I think it was Rambo," said Farnsworth. "I don't know. I reached in there and started grabbing dogs and throwing dogs. And one of them got me. One of those things that happens. It's never pretty. I've had to do it a few times and it's ugly."

The dogs were current on shots so he has no concerns about rabies.

"It hurts a little bit, but no big deal. Just a flesh wound," he said.

Royals manager Trey Hillman said that Farnsworth was not expected to miss any time.

"Not planning on it, planning on wrapping it up and having him available today," Hillman said.

Farnsworth was at least able to grin about the incident.

"That's how I start my mornings off," he said. "Wrestling with bulldogs."

WoW Soda

World of Warcraft actually has its own soft drinks distributed/manufactured by Pepsi. The saleman today told me all about how popular this WoW game is and how they have there own sodas.

I didn't buy any Game Fuel.

Why Do Bulldogs Have Flat Faces?

I was perusing the internet one late evening and I discovered that bulldogs have flat faces because it is beneficial in bull fighting. They are supposed to run underneath the bull and its horns then jump up and bite it on the nose and not let go. So they are gripping the bulls by the nose for dear life as the bull whips the dogs around. Now, when the bulldog is hanging on to the bull the flat face allows it to breath freely through its nose, which would otherwise be pushed up against the bulls body not allowing the dogs to or at least hindering the dogs breathing.

Why Do Bulldogs Have Flat Faces?

Uh, see above

State of The Union

I have already had a similar discussion with Sr. Prototype, but I wanted to open up the discussion to the Godfathers of the fantasy league.

The league seems to be healthy in that all the owners are keeping up with their teams (which is an improvement form last year), but I am saddened that only a select few of us have gone above and beyond that standard of participation. It seems like no one is having much fun.

I would like to hear any and all ideas/thoughts on why this is happening and possibly what we could do to fix things this year or at worst, next year. What can we do? I have lost the excitement I once had in distributing trophies and posting raunchy shit on the forum. I want to feel that excitement again.

Bad Magic Tummy Dragons

I went to California last weekend for my grandfather's funeral.

While visiting my grandmother I enjoyed a lemon-lime Gatorade that had a logo that reminded me of the old All Sport drink, leading me to believe it was a decade old. Well I took a sip and it tasted kind of weird, but lemon-lime Gatorade does taste kinda weird, so I drank about 1/4 of the bottle before stopping. Well, since then I have felt horribly sick. I finally broke down yesterday and called the school nurse, and she said it was Bad Magic Tummy Dragons and that it would all work itself out and I would be all good come Friday. She also said I couldn't eat lettuce, nurses orders, so it isn't all bad. But she said I should eat bland stuff, nothing greasy. Now, I certainly haven't felt like eating anything complex or spicy, or even greasy, but yesterday I did work my way up to real food (besides smoothies and what nots). The thing was, I didn't know the first thing about what to order or where to order it. I just don't know. I think I looked at a Chinese menu for ten minutes (the day before I ordered a small order of white rice) and had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

My Crazy Mom: Part 1

So we've enlisted a spy to watch over thee ole Steinberg household(My other little brother) and he reported back a month ago. I've just now decided to start this series, and figured this would be a good place to start.

He heard in his kitchen(as his parents often do) 'My Crazy Mom' yelling at Sarah, but this time it was special. My Crazy Mom came home and saw a young black man leaving her house with his pants partially down.

An eruption of outrage are the only words I think could describe what I feel went on.

Now, if I was home I would not let anyone fool around with my little sister, but she is 16, and that is what every 16 year old wants to do, so I would not go crazy over it.

But Knowing my mom I'm sure you realize what this did to her.

My dream come true

I forgot to mention that I am on my company's softball team, which is a dream come true. I think so far on the season I am batting (avg/opb/slug) .625/.625/.625(5/8 with 5 singles, couple of runs and rbis, but not many).

Most of my hits have been line dives, but I have been getting under the ball a little bit, Including one deep blast to center, which was caught. It's a guy girl league with a soft 14 inch softball, which makes it hard to hit the ball with authority. Last week I almost killed the pitcher with a line drive that went under her non throwing arm and was by her before she flinched. We are 2-1 on the season, but in our loss we got shut down like 7-1, and I had 2 of our 5 hits. Our 4th game is tonight, weather permitting.

On a side note, I went to the batting cages the other day and there was a party of like 4 year olds there. I stepped into the slow pitch cage, and every time I hit the ball all of the kids(like 12 of them) where like WHOOAAA!!! It was the coolest thing ever, but then I tried to hit it harder and started getting under them again. It didn't matter cause they were impressed every time I swung.

First Baseman Parity

Notice that Justin Morneau is the third highest producer in Toddy Hollandsworth Fantasy Baseball league.

Rich Harden, the Cubs injured pitchers, comes in a cool 170.

Sawyer, honestly, your trades are annoying.