How to Remove the Alternator in Your Chevy Malibu 2000/2001

This is an extension in the "How To Change Your Spark Plugs" Series, but I decided to give this its own post as you may need to replace a faulty alternator and want directions on how to remove the alternator from your Chevy Malibu independent of changing your spark plugs.

Removing the alternator in a Chevy Malibu is a pretty simple process.

The first step is to disconnect your battery.  To disconnect your battery just remove the negative terminal first using the appropriate socket and then the positive terminal.  Then, make sure that the leads are away from your battery terminals.

The next step is to loosen the serpentine belts from the pulleys.

In the photo above, you can see the serpentine belt as its routed around the various pulleys.  I have outlined the alternator and the serpentine belt tensioner.  (Side note: If you notice the bracket with four bolts in the center-bottom of the photograph below.  This bracket mounts the engine to the frame of the automobile.  If you need to replace your serpentine belt, you will need to remove these four bolts (with the engine supported of course) in order to slip the serpentine belt below this bracket, but this is another blog post for another day.

The serpentine belt tensioner is spring loaded to keep the serpentine belt tight enough that it wont slip off, but also allows the belt to vibrate and flex as your cruising at high speeds.  In order to remove the serpentine belt, you need to purchase a breaker bar.  These cost $10-20 dollars.  Go buy one.  In the photograph above, I also tried to outline the area that you will insert your breaker bar.  From here, you can use leverage to rotate the arm of the belt tensioner against the center it is mounted at by applying pressure in the right direction of the breaker bar.

In the diagram above, the belt tensioner is represented in black and the breaker bar in blue.  By applying pressure to the breaker bar you should release tension on the serpentine belt and should be able to slip it off of the pulley on the alternator.

If you decided that you want to save $10-20 dollars and not purchase a breaker bar, then you can use a non-racheting socket and some sort of cheater bar in order to get the required leverage needed.  This can be a length of pipe or another socket.

Belt Tensioner

Inserting the non-racheting socket in the belt tensioner

socket inserted into the belt tensioner

Second socket placed over the first in order to generate the torque required

Now that the serpentine belt is loosened, you can begin removing the alternator.

To remove the alternator, unscrew the three bolts that mount the alternator.  The photograph above indicates where the three bolts are.

In this photograph, the alternator has been removed.  Now you can see the three mounts that are used to secure the alternator as well as the various connections that need to be removed.  The one labeled wire is the charge wire that is bolted to the alternator from the battery.  The one labeled connector with the yellow band needs to be unplugged from the alternator.  The one labeled connector that is on top, does not need to be unplugged, it just needs to be slipped off of the mount that is connected to the alternator.

That's it.  Your alternator is removed.  In order to replace your alternator, do everything in reverse.

Good job! 

How To Change Your Spark Plugs on a Chevrolet Malibu 2000/2001

This is meant to be a comprehensive how to guide on changing the spark plugs on a Chevy Malibu.  Oftentimes, you can get good videos or written instructions, but they don't always do you justice.

Spark plugs on your Chevy Malibu should last 100,000 miles.  If you're car is getting close to 100,000 miles, you're having trouble starting the engine in the cold, or if you are getting an OBD-II Code of P0300 (the P0300 or is a general cylinder misfire code, but you can tell which cylinder misfired specifically based on the last digit, so a P0301 is a misfire in the cylinder #1, a P0302 is a misfire in cylinder #2, and a code of P0303, P0304, P0305, P0306 are misfires in cylinders 3, 4, 5, and 6, respectively) then you may need to change your spark plugs.

The good thing about changing your spark plugs for a fuel injection engine like the Chevy Malibu, is that its theroetically as simple as unscrewing a bolt and screwing on a new bolt.  As we will see though, its not always that easy when working in a tight space under the hood.

Another word of note.  I was quoted $130 to change the spark plugs.  If you already know how to change your spark plugs, then you don't need to read this and can change them yourself.  If you don't have any experience working on cars (like myself) then I would recommend that you just pay the $130, unless of course you want to gain proficiency in working on your car, in which case you don't need to think strictly in terms of money saved/pain in the ass and time spent.

So, enough talk, lets see why we need new spark plugs.  This is a picture of one of the spark plugs replaced in my Chevy Malibu at 116,000 miles.  This is probably 16,000 miles and two years overdue:  

As you can see this is a worn out spark plug.  The tip of the central electrode is worn down and the gap is too wide.

Here you can see a comparison of an old spark plug next to its new replacement.  Here you can really see the difference in the central electrode and the gap on the old spark plug versus the new.

So now that your ready to change your spark plugs, lets discuss the tools you will need.

You will need 6 new spark plugs, a gauge to read the gap in your spark plug, a special socket to fit a spark plug, ratchet set, pliers, dielectric grease, and thread lubricant.  If you decide to remove your alternator (to free up room to reach the back three spark plugs) you will also need a 13mm ratchet and a breaker bar.

Enough exposition, let's get under the hood.  

The first step to changing your spark plugs, is locating you spark plugs.  If you are a dumbass like me, the diagram below will be helpful:

 In the box on the top is the ignition coil or coil pack.  The ignition coil transforms the low voltage from the car battery to the high voltage needed to create the spark in your spark plug to ignite the fuel to make your car go vroom (wikipedia).  

In the box below, you can see clearly the three spark plug boots, which are connected from the ignition coil through the spark plug wire, which are called high tension leads.

Here is a closer picture of the ignition coil.

It is worth mentioning that an engine misfire could be due to a bad ignition coil.  You can see that the ignition coils are clearly labeled to show the firing order.  From the ignition coils are 6 wires, each heading to a separate spark plug (assuming you don't drive a four cylinder).

If you couldn't tell where the spark plug boot was in the picture above, this picture should close that gap.  In this photo, you can clearly see that I am holding the spark plug boot.  You should now be able to see the three front spark plugs and the high tension leads.

Now all you have to do is unplug the spark plug boot from the spark plug by pulling on the spark plug boot.  Easy, right?  Wrong.  Remember your car is 15 years old and you live in the MidWest where the summers are over 100 degrees and the winters are below 0.  This is going to be a struggle.  Please know this going in.  You have to wrestle this stupid thing off by wiggling it, twisting it, and pulling it (and cursing it).  They market specific spark plug boot removal tools, but I never bought one so who knows if they work.  You can also use a set of pliers. I should stress that you should only pull from the boot and not the wire, unless you want to replace the high tension leads, then I guess you could try to just pull the boot off from the wire.  

So now you should have the spark plug boot removed.  From here its as simple as removing the spark plug using a spark plug socket and plugging the new one back in its place.  This is pretty simple, but back inside first and let's go back to the beginning of this project and ensure our new spark plugs are properly gapped.  I believe the factory specified gap is 0.060 (in thousands of an inch).

This is the old spark plug, which is gapped at .070. If your gap is too large or too small, bend the ground electrode closer to or further away from the center electrode. If you don't what the ground electrode is, it is the pointed out in red in the photo below:

After you checked all your gaps, or said fuck it I'm sure they are gapped correctly out of the box,  I would like to show you why you need to have the special socket.  Bascially, it just big enough to clear the insulator and locks into the terminal. The next series of photos is meant to illustrate this.

The socket is big enough to house the plug.

See

Be sure to lock it in.

This photo is here to make sure you have a ratchet extension.  If you don't, go out and buy one.

So there you go, buy this socket and remove the spark plug and replace it with the new.  But before you do, spread some dielectric grease on the terminal, this should help you to remove the spark plug boot in the future, if you ever need to, and some anti-seal thread lubricant around the threads (this may be snake-oil for all I know, but its cheap).

Then replace your boot and continue for all three spark plugs in the front.  Although the process is the same for the back three spark plugs, the level of difficulty is increased by the space constrictions.  

To be continued... 

Bread Wars

I have been working on my rise. I followed this recipe. Did consecutive 45 minute rises. Perhaps added 2x as much yeast as necessary. I added it all to a mixture of 1/3 water to 100% of the sugars. It was pretty great.

http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/whole-wheat-bread

Check out that rise!

That's not bad. Bread War 2014...your turn capital_prototype.

PO TA TOES

Russet potatoes are almost as cheap as the Idahoan dirt they're grown in (as we move to a world of abundance and zero costs). That's why I'm going to try to convince you that they deserve a spot on your weekly grocery list with these instructions for oven baked french fries.

0) Preheat the oven to 375. Or 400, whatever.

1) Wash your potatoes.  I recommend one potato per person.

2) Cut your potato into french fry shapes.

Washed, halved

Sliced

French Fry Shaped

3) Coat in rapeseed oil and sea salt.

4) Grease a cookie sheet with spray cooking oil and place a layer of raw fries on your tray.

5) Bake for 30 minutes or until sufficiently crispy.

6) scrape them into a bowl and season with sea salt and any other seasonings you like.

Seasoned with salt and parsley (homegrown and home dried, duh)

Sawsheezle's mixology: Dirty Polski, a variation on a classic White Russian

Sometimes you need to use up your chocolate syrup and you don't know what to do. You also want to "drink". Here is a simple solution for the average Joe or Jane. Round up the following ingredients:

Ingredients:
Milk/Cream/Dairy of your choice
Polish Vodka. Has to be made from Rye or it isn't real.
Kahlua.
Chocolate Syrup. Trader Joes is my favorite.
Cruzan Black Strap Rum.

Mix 2oz Vodka, 1oz Kahlua, and a squirt of choco syrup. Stir vigorously. Add milk and ice to desired level. In a double old-fashioned glass just fill it to the top with a bit of room to spare. Top with 0.5-1.0oz of Black Strap Rum. Basically we're making a a white russian with a chocolate twist and then the kicker is the black strap rum to finish it off. I call it a "Dirty Polski" due to the prominence of the Polish Vodka. Here's famous German dancehall MC Dr. Ring-Ding singing about the beloved nectar.




Enjoy! But responsibly you dorks!

Oregano Update

This photo compares store bought oregano (top) with homegrown and dried oregano (below).

Pink Pickles

Maybe Peter Piper picked a peck of pink pickles?

After making ghetto prison pickles (see previous post),  I looked up a couple quick pickle recipes online and pickled a red onion. Most recipes call for dropping your vegetables and spices in a mason jar, then boiling your vinegar/salt/water solution and pouring it over the vegetables. If making sweet/bread and butter pickles add sugar.  I also recommend a mild white vinegar for pickling (I personally found that apple cider vinegar tastes worse and makes worse looking pickles as it adds a brown color to your vegetables). One large onion filled 2 mason jars for me. Store in the fridge and let it sit for a few days/weeks and you have quick pickles. I opted to pickle red onions and dropped some cucumber in for good measure.

Pizza Pie

All this pizza could really use some fresh tasty oregano.  No, not fresh oregano, but dried oregano.  No, not store bought brand name oregano.  No, not the far cheaper and infinitely stem-ier option from the foreign foods section oregano.  Fresh homemade dried oregano.

Step One: Pick your homegrown oregano (or pick someone else's, that's what I did.)

Step Two:  Rinse your oregano.

Step Three: Pick off the stem, leaving just leafy greens. (Or is that pick off the leaves, and discard the stems?)  You could probably dehydrate the oregano on the stem, but I figured that would probably just increase the drying time.

Step Four: Place the oregano on your beef jerky machine.

Pictured above: Step Four.

Step Five: Place the beef jerky machine on its lowest heat setting, in this case 95 degrees, and let the fan run to dehydrate and preserve that herb,

Step Six: Wait, I think that ~18 hours is the recommended time to let these leafy herbs dry out.  I just leave the dehydrater running overnight.

Step Seven: Place your herb in a food processor to grind it to a size that is desirable to your target consumer.

Step Eight: Store it as you please.

Pictured above: This is actually home grown basil in an old McCormick Basil container. Psyche your mind!

Step Nine: Add to your favorite pizza pie sauce.  Now we are working with some very unstable herbs!

Helping Fur Friends

capital_prototype had a problem over the summer: his headlamps had frosted over. What actually happens is a bit complex, but essentially the UV rays in the sun damage the plastic and a weird frosty crusty coating forms. Many DIY kits are sold to help fix this problem, but I have never gotten one to work.

It's basically toothpaste with a little piece of sandpaper. These things don't work. This does:

 

Add some cut compound. We used Chemical Guys Cut 1.0. 

Go to any garage and they will charge you $50 or more to restore your headlights...that is just robbery. We are frugal here on the fur (furgal) and we demand better. Here is an idea of what 1 minute with these real tools can do for basically free.

On the left we have an untouched headlight. On the right is the restored one. The photo doesn't do justice to the difference, but it really was almost night and day up close and in person. Be furgal fur people!