Mike Stoops Fired: Behind The Scenes

http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/7086070/arizona-wildcats-fire-mike-stoops-coach-1-5-start

Mike Stoops was fired after 8 years as head coach of the University of Arizona Wildcats Football Squad. The Wildcats have lost their last 10 games to FBS opponents which amounts to nearly an entire season's worth of games. The program needs a shot of life and perhaps someone who will get the team to play defense (UA is something like 115th in the nation out of 120 schools) and perhaps not blow so hard. UA recently hired a new athletic director, Greg Byrne, to make important decisions of this matter. Yesterday, he made one. For the record, Greg Byrne's wife is smoking hot, he is tall, and his dad is the AD at Texas A&M so naturally he is qualified to hold his position. I like to think this is kind of how it went down.

***This is a dramatization. All portrayals herein of real people are not meant to be accurate, but rather just a humorous take on things and are not meant to be taken literally in any way. Please make the following changes in your brain as you watch this scene unfold.

Rip Torn = Jim
Tom Green = Gordy

Jim = Bill Byrne
Gordy = Greg Byrne
Little Timmy = Jim = Bill Byrne
Bob (on the phone) = Mike Stoops
Computer Job = Athletic Director Job
Stocks = Season Tickets
Wire the money = Change the plays
Geneva = Blitz
Helsinki = Man to Man coverage
40 million Deutschmarks = 115th ranked defense