woot.com

As some of you may have know there has been a woot off going on the last 2 days. Every woot off on the second day sometime in the afternoon sells 1500 bag-o-craps. If you don't know what that is google it. Any way I almost got one today.

Almost getting it is worse than not getting close. Normally I don't get close. Just now I got all the way to "order processing", which is way after entering CC info. Then my order was rejected for lack of inventory.

I got Bag-O-Crap blue balls.

All the kids are saying it

Pron-bone

Meaning: A boner caused by the watching of mad pron

Origin: Slang (Tucson, AZ)

Used in a sentence: I have a pron-bone for my rim-clone.

Cougar Down

So after some beers and after reading a sterling recommendation from Capital_Prototype I decided to watch another episode of Cougar Town. I made it exactly one minute in and had to shut it down. Bill Lawrence what the fuck are you doing? You have made me pray for nuclear fucking holocaust in one minute.

Pre Workout Rant

Fudge the following:

my failing three front war
sans humidity
dumb broads
regular broads for the most part
the Cubs front office
people boycotting AZ
illegal immigrants killing Arizonans
match.com
eharmony.com
plentyoffish.com
these dudes at McDonald's today with jean shorts on
having a 0.1% success rate with email in online dating sites
the usual
the Stros
the Cards
the Bucs
the Reds
the Red Sox
the Yankees
the Dodgers

Rumor Mill

Bob Howry is about to be signed by the Cubs after being released by the D'Backs.

Alpha King

Someone please go buy some Alpha King and drink one for me. I am boning for it hard right now.

Cubs and Mad Dog

"- I will leave you today with a nice tidbit! It is no coincidence that Greg Maddux was to fill the role as assistant GM to Jim Hendry according to a source. This source says that it was Tom Ricketts idea to bring in Greg Maddux not Jimbos. Greg is basically being groomed for the GM job for the Chicago Cubs according to this source, which could actually be coming sooner rather than later."

This comes from one of my favorite Cubs blogs. I am a little worried about this. Is Maddux qualified? Does he have good business sense? Does he know what makes a quality club? Has he even fucking read Moneyball? I don't think Jim Hendry has either, but that is another story.

Cougartown

I am watching cougartown episode 1. It has made me pray for nuclear fucking holocaust in five minutes.

Turn Offs

Breast tattoo(s)
Yearly trips to Dinseyland/world
Ear lobe spacer earrings
Christian
Having more than one dog
Pro Sarah Palin
Not into boneing
Too short
Too tall
Too dumb
Nurses

Sons of Tucson Canceled

Sons of Tucson, the new Tyler Labine vehicle, has been canceled by fox after only four episodes. Apparently there will be a marathon-like burn-off of the unaired episodes in june. Better get them all before they are gone from the interweb forever.

China

"China, which has 300 million smokers, is the world's largest smoking nation and it consumes a third of the world's cigarettes. Nearly 60 percent of men in China smoke, puffing an average of 15 cigarettes per day."

Who knew?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100513/sc_nm/us_butts

pretty sweet

And a good way to waste time.

http://unrealitymag.com/index.php/2010/05/06/12-comic-actors-stand-up-from-way-back-when/

Cox? Cake

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Atlanta Braves manager Bobby Cox is laughing off a Capitol Hill cake mix-up.

Cox was honored earlier this week with a ceremony in Washington hosted by U.S. senators Johnny Isakson of Georgia and Jay Rockefeller of West Virginia. The Braves were in town to play the Nationals, and Cox was saluted for his long time in baseball.

But the decorative writing on the dessert cake misspelled his name in a rather unfortunate way.

Cox says he didn't even know about the mistake until Wednesday. He says the cake was already cut when he enjoyed a piece.


An unfortunate way? Oh my. Could only be one...

Prior Mark Speaks

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/may/06/prior-to-strasburg-been-there-done-that/

Even I admit this is cool

Ok I am hating in Apple ever since the iPad and the iPhone prototype debacle, but I will say this is cool

SI Power Rankings

In summary Cubs are #17 this week up from #19.

Here is  the quote: "It's a good thing Kosuke Fukudome is producing at the plate, with five homers, a .321 average and a .415 OBP, because Ultimate Zone Rating ranks him as baseball's sixth-worst outfielder, having already cost the Cubs 4.8 runs in right field. And everyone thought Alfonso Soriano was bad in left. (He is, but only -0.3 runs bad.)"

That I did not know. I wish UZR was part of the fantasy baseball scoring methodology. 

Weird Milton Bradley Stuff

Linked

brewdog nuclear penguin

Now made with real penguin

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1978705,00.html

http://www.brewdog.com/product.php?id=46

Lou Piniella

on Carlos Zambrano in the pen.

Walking Tour to Streetlight Manifesto concert

On July 17, Streetlight Manifesto will be playing down the street from my apartment at a venue called "The Rock". To see how close it is to me follow the link. You can even take a virtual tour!

Linkbate

Cubs Payroll

link

Who in tarnation signs the most productive but worst defensive second baseman to a 8 year $136 million contract. Are we really supposed to root for this guy for five more years?

Meanwhile, we are paying a man nearly $19 million to hold down four run leads in late innings?

Was Fukudome worth $14 million total over four years?

Tom Gorzelanny is my man at $800,000.

Cardinals Payroll

Thoughts on Albert Pujols?

Pirates $39 million payroll

For Your Health

I have made another life change by switching from footlong chicken breast sammiches at Subshack to 6". It is also a confidence boost as my penis is now bigger than the sandwich. I am still trying to get over the last hurdle and lose some more poundage.

In other news, my friends and I have been talking about forming a band and jamming. We want to call ourselves something that combines our music and our love of optical physics. I have suggested that we call ourselves "Stimulated Emission" which comes from the Laser and also hand jibbers. I think it is a no brainer. When asked at a party the other night what kind of music we were going to play, I said "baby making music". bduh.