Remember when I got my new tv(Hot Nudes).
Me too. But I forgot it came with a 200 dollar gas card from LG.
I just got that. I can't wait to spend it all on box wine at a gas station so i can drink it out of a can(which I did last night).
Friday, October 16, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Diet Tips
I have seen some improvements to my waistline thanks to my diet. I am now going to share some tips.
1) Dairy is fattening.
There is no quicker way to add extra and often needless amounts of calories than to cover/smother something in cheese or cheese-like substances, spreads, and sauces.
Cream, no mas creme de la caffem (No more cream for my coffee). Yes, dissapointing.
1) a) Adding sugar to dairy is bad. That means you ice cream and ice cream novelties.
2) Grocery shop often.
In order to stay on your diet you need lots of ripe produce, but produce ripens quickly. I suggest making a trip to the nearest Ball Mart to load up keep a constant stock of ripe or ripening bananas and apples at the ready.
3) Bananas and Apples and similar produces are the perfect snack. An apple or a banana has just enough calories to give you a boost, but not to many to weigh you down.
I have a tendency to look at any item I open as one serving size, from a snickers bar to a family size bag of fried potato chips. These fruits actually are one serving size, so it is okay to finish them in one sitting.
4) Do not stock up on unhealthy food alternatives (see No. #2). If you are hungry and the only thing in your house is apples and bananas, you will eat them. As long as they taste decent (they do) and they are convenient.
However, if you
A) Also keep fried potato chips in your house, you will inevitable pass up the healthy produce.
B) Do not have fresh produce on hand, you will be very tempted to pick up a meal at the local greasy fast food joint.
5) Count your calories. Counting your calories has multiple benefits, but it is best for managing your caloric intake and matching that to your desired input. By limiting your calories to at or under what the amount you consume in the day, you will be able to burn the stored up calories in your body (I assume).
Other benefits should be found at a consumer diet advocacy website of some sort.
6) On your diet you will probably visit Subway, as one of the better health choice options for fast food/ take out.
When you do, do not add oil and viniger. The oil adds like 90 calories to a footlong, which is around the same as cheese, and adds only marginal benefits.
7) If you stray from your diet on a day or two, don't freak out and drown your sorrows in boxes of fried potato chips. Take it from the tippy the following day.
8) When you make an exception to your diet make sure it completely erases the weeks and months of diligent dietary efforts and gains you have made thus far. Destroy those efforts in one foul sweep. Go to Fat Sammich on Halloween weekend.
I can't wait.
1) Dairy is fattening.
There is no quicker way to add extra and often needless amounts of calories than to cover/smother something in cheese or cheese-like substances, spreads, and sauces.
Cream, no mas creme de la caffem (No more cream for my coffee). Yes, dissapointing.
1) a) Adding sugar to dairy is bad. That means you ice cream and ice cream novelties.
2) Grocery shop often.
In order to stay on your diet you need lots of ripe produce, but produce ripens quickly. I suggest making a trip to the nearest Ball Mart to load up keep a constant stock of ripe or ripening bananas and apples at the ready.
3) Bananas and Apples and similar produces are the perfect snack. An apple or a banana has just enough calories to give you a boost, but not to many to weigh you down.
I have a tendency to look at any item I open as one serving size, from a snickers bar to a family size bag of fried potato chips. These fruits actually are one serving size, so it is okay to finish them in one sitting.
4) Do not stock up on unhealthy food alternatives (see No. #2). If you are hungry and the only thing in your house is apples and bananas, you will eat them. As long as they taste decent (they do) and they are convenient.
However, if you
A) Also keep fried potato chips in your house, you will inevitable pass up the healthy produce.
B) Do not have fresh produce on hand, you will be very tempted to pick up a meal at the local greasy fast food joint.
5) Count your calories. Counting your calories has multiple benefits, but it is best for managing your caloric intake and matching that to your desired input. By limiting your calories to at or under what the amount you consume in the day, you will be able to burn the stored up calories in your body (I assume).
Other benefits should be found at a consumer diet advocacy website of some sort.
6) On your diet you will probably visit Subway, as one of the better health choice options for fast food/ take out.
When you do, do not add oil and viniger. The oil adds like 90 calories to a footlong, which is around the same as cheese, and adds only marginal benefits.
7) If you stray from your diet on a day or two, don't freak out and drown your sorrows in boxes of fried potato chips. Take it from the tippy the following day.
8) When you make an exception to your diet make sure it completely erases the weeks and months of diligent dietary efforts and gains you have made thus far. Destroy those efforts in one foul sweep. Go to Fat Sammich on Halloween weekend.
I can't wait.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Seasonally Relevant Rice Nerd Joke
Wide Receiver: "I am going to score a touchdown on this play."
Cornerback: "No chance, I'll be on you like white on rice."
Wide Receiver: "Well, the color of the rice isn't an intrinsic quality of the rice itself, rather the color is how you perceive or interact with the rice. This perception is how you interact with the rice, rather than explaining how the rice exists in reality"
Cornerback: "No chance, I'll be on you like white on rice."
Wide Receiver: "Well, the color of the rice isn't an intrinsic quality of the rice itself, rather the color is how you perceive or interact with the rice. This perception is how you interact with the rice, rather than explaining how the rice exists in reality"
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
MLB more like NFL
I was thinking about how well the NFL was setup and I was wondering if we could apply some of the things that they are doing right to the MLB. Here are some thoughts:
1. Balance each league. 16 teams in each league. Two new teams would need to be introduced.
2. Move to four divisions with North/South/East/West. Let's figure out who goes where.
NL
=====================
North
===========
Chicago
Milwaukee
Cincinnati
xxxxxxxx
South
===========
St. Louis
Houston
Atlanta
Florida
East
===========
Pittsburgh
New York
Washington
Philadelphia
West
==========
Colorado
San Diego
Arizona
San Francisco
AL
===================
North
===========
Detroit
Cleveland
Minnesota
Chicago
South
===========
Tampa Bay
Kansas City
Texas
Dodgers
East
===========
New York
Boston
Toronto
Baltimore
West
===========
Angels
Oakland
Seattle
xxxxxxx
This leaves us with two spots open. Also note, these divisions aren't as territorial as I would like, but the NFL ones aren't super strict either. I would recommend that a team be created in Las Vegas for the American League because purity and integrity are absent from both and it is a great locale. The other team for the NL is a bit of a question mark. Perhaps Indianapolis? Thoughts here are welcome.
3. Now that the teams are decided, move the playoff system to six teams (two wild card) and seed each team by regular season record with the highest seed getting a bye. The first round should be a best of three series.
4. Take away home field advantage from the All-Star game and go back to the every other year switch that it used to be.
5. Other fixes would be to revamp the schedules to put even more focus on divisional importance and decrease the number of interleague games or make the interleague more like the NFL.
Does this work?
1. Balance each league. 16 teams in each league. Two new teams would need to be introduced.
2. Move to four divisions with North/South/East/West. Let's figure out who goes where.
NL
=====================
North
===========
Chicago
Milwaukee
Cincinnati
xxxxxxxx
South
===========
St. Louis
Houston
Atlanta
Florida
East
===========
Pittsburgh
New York
Washington
Philadelphia
West
==========
Colorado
San Diego
Arizona
San Francisco
AL
===================
North
===========
Detroit
Cleveland
Minnesota
Chicago
South
===========
Tampa Bay
Kansas City
Texas
Dodgers
East
===========
New York
Boston
Toronto
Baltimore
West
===========
Angels
Oakland
Seattle
xxxxxxx
This leaves us with two spots open. Also note, these divisions aren't as territorial as I would like, but the NFL ones aren't super strict either. I would recommend that a team be created in Las Vegas for the American League because purity and integrity are absent from both and it is a great locale. The other team for the NL is a bit of a question mark. Perhaps Indianapolis? Thoughts here are welcome.
3. Now that the teams are decided, move the playoff system to six teams (two wild card) and seed each team by regular season record with the highest seed getting a bye. The first round should be a best of three series.
4. Take away home field advantage from the All-Star game and go back to the every other year switch that it used to be.
5. Other fixes would be to revamp the schedules to put even more focus on divisional importance and decrease the number of interleague games or make the interleague more like the NFL.
Does this work?
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'
The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
You got Male!
You got Male!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Fred Armisen
Fred Armisen's Obama on SNL is not up to snuff.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/99945/saturday-night-live-obama-address
The skits are still funny, but he is not good at impressions or mocking Obama's cadence, speech pattern, mannerisms, etc.
It is too bad, I mean Darrel Hammond did such a good job with Bill Clinton that they just bring him back all the time, even though he has been out of office for like a decade.
I think they should retain Duane Johnson for the permanent role.
The Rock Obama
http://www.hulu.com/watch/99945/saturday-night-live-obama-address
The skits are still funny, but he is not good at impressions or mocking Obama's cadence, speech pattern, mannerisms, etc.
It is too bad, I mean Darrel Hammond did such a good job with Bill Clinton that they just bring him back all the time, even though he has been out of office for like a decade.
I think they should retain Duane Johnson for the permanent role.
The Rock Obama
Sunday, October 4, 2009
My first sandwich
No, the title is not a typo. I thought that I had had a sandwich before, but I was mistaken. It took the glorious creator of Fat Sandwich Co., who said no to healthy, to open my eyes.
What you are looking at is the Fat Frat. It packs philly cheese steak, gyro, chicken tenders, mozzerella sticks, and tzatziki sauce. All of the sandwiches there come with fries. Instead of giving you the fries like the other restaurants, the smash them onto the top of the sandwich.
truly heavenly
What you are looking at is the Fat Frat. It packs philly cheese steak, gyro, chicken tenders, mozzerella sticks, and tzatziki sauce. All of the sandwiches there come with fries. Instead of giving you the fries like the other restaurants, the smash them onto the top of the sandwich.
truly heavenly
Thursday, October 1, 2009
female drivers
It is shovanistic and ignorant to claim that all women are bad at driving.
But to claim that all bad drivers are women is just the truth.
But to claim that all bad drivers are women is just the truth.
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