Friday, July 29, 2011

New Labine Movie-Film

Looks actually kind of original.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Harry Spoilers

Ok. This is officially a rant. I just saw the latest Harry Potter movie-film yesterday and while I enjoyed it, I cannot help but be super frustrated. Here I will list several of my key problems with the movie franchise. This accounts for only the things that have happened in the films as I have no knowledge of the books.

1. I understand that Voldemort wants to rule the world or whatever, but I never really felt any sense in the movies that anyone was actually scared of him. In the last two movies, Voldemort's forces seem to have simply just taken over everything. How did this happen? How did people let this happen? I never ever felt that the world was in danger.

2. Why were the only people who could use any magic Dumbledore, Voldemort, Snape, and Hermione? Harry and Ron only used those damn stupify spells the entire time. You have Death Eaters throwing out killing curses like they were going out of style, but these guys aren't willing to fight back. Also, the impact of using the killing curse isn't very well explained in the movies. I would have loved just a little bit more dialogue stating that using the curse definitely kills a part of you and also that the curse is very difficult to use and that you risk it backfiring on you if you do it wrong. This would have put some emphasis on how skilled the Death Eaters are and how everyone of Voldemort's minions were soulless. Also, if I was Harry Potter and I knew from age 11 that I had to kill the most evil enemy in the world of all time, I would have been reading all the books and learning as much as I could about magic and new spells and stuff. Did he really ever try and get better outside of that one time when he assembled Dumbledore's army?

3. Back to Harry. Obviously part of Voldemort' soul latched itself to Harry, but the way it was explained/developed in the movie meant that Harry really wasn't special at all at that it was only luck/circumstance that he be tied to Voldemort and not fate. This makes for a less compelling story to me.

4. The movies themselves lost their magic. I was talking with RyDub about how the first few films had this energy and aura about them. They were scored by John Williams and, to me anyway, literally felt magical. I hardly ever noticed the score in any subsequent films. Things I missed were the ghosts in Hogwarts, the paintings (finally showed up in the last movie), and the staircases (which didn't move in the last movie I believe nor the books I have heard). All of these little details set the first couple of movies apart.

5. How the hell is Quidditch scored? What are the official rules? It seems that the game is played until someone catches the snitch. Why are they throwing the balls through the hoops if the only thing that matters is the snitch being caught? Again, just a few lines of dialog explaining the rules would be have been amazing.

6. Why did the Death Eaters just disappear when Harry revealed that he wasn't dead? What were they scared of? Pretty weak if you ask me.

7. The coolest thing about the movie were the giants that stormed Hogwarts.

8. As RyDub already stated: why didn't they use the magic they did know? When Harry and Voldemort fall to the ground I was half expecting a momentum interuptus (sp?) spell or something similar. Come on. Again, an explanation saying "Most magic is very difficult to perform and only a wizard/witch who can maintain extreme focus and who has enough will power can perform magic. Harder magic requires more inner strength and concentration." Something like that. Jesus.

9. I felt I could have written the scripts to the last 5 or so films myself without having read the books and been more accurate to the source material. I then would have revised the script to make the source material pale in comparison to the story I would tell. I would do this all by just discussing the origin of magic and how one becomes good at it.

10. I still loved it though.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Barry Hopper and The Blooming (can't really find a word for the opposite of hallows) Part 2 **SPOILERS**

Fuck Harry Potter. The more and more i watch these movies, i realize how stupid they are. At one part, a bunch of people are coming up a very long flight of stairs while Harry is pushing his way through them trying to get down. YOU'RE A FUCKING WIZARD! JUMP DOWN THE STAIRS AND HOVER RIGHT BEFORE YOU HIT THE GROUND LIKE YOU DID AN HOUR AGO! There's another part where Voldemort and Harry are lying a couple feet away from their respective wands and they crawl very dramatically towards them in slow motion. Now, there is a spell that Harry and his friends use called Accio, which brings whatever item they say to the person who uttered the spell. They use it like it's going out of style in the other films, and even at other points in this same movie. I could go on and on, but i'll stop. And i know that other movies do this too, but it seems utterly terrible in Harry Potter films.

I have read the books as well, and i don't seem to recall as many of these kinds of problems in them, but i could be wrong. I think it's just the writers/directors/whatever of the movies that make it terrible.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

First Grade (a long time in the making)

I'm gonna write about a couple things i remember since i've been slow to put this next part in my series up.

A certain Fur Father's mother used to come in and do science-y things for us like blow a cork out a 2-liter bottle with a nail and electricity or something (don't really remember except the girls would always scream.)

Some kid got stung by a bee in his eye and had to wear sunglasses for awhile.

I think i dressed up as a vampire or Batman for halloween.

MAIN STORY:
So in first grade we sat in partners. Meaning two desks were placed next to each other so everyone had a "partner." We were moved around over the course of the year and sometimes they were even co-ed. On this particular occasion, mine was. I was sitting next to the girl that pretty much everyone thought was pretty. We were doing some kind of craft stuff so we had glue, scissors, construction paper, etc strewn across our desks. The girl was minding her own business creating "art." I thought i would try to impress said girl by throwing scraps of construction paper into the air, and cutting them in half before they fell to my desk. Bad idea. Somehow i managed to get my finger in-between the paper and the scissors, slicing my skin open. Blood immediately started flowing out of the gash and onto my desk. The girl screamed and the teacher ran with me to the nurse, all the while dripping blood onto the floor, leaving a trail from the classroom through the hallway. I really don't remember being that scared or even crying, but that could be inaccurate. All in all, it was pretty awesome.

The girl in this story will show up at least twice later on.

(sorry that took so long, i promise the others will come more quickly)